He says, "I don't care what you plan, I'll love it regardless."
She says, "I want your opinion in this planning as well."
He says, "Well, let me know if you need any help."
She says, "I need help."
He's thinking, "Planning a wedding is a girl's thing. I don't know what I'm doing, nor do I care. I just want to get married to the most beautiful lady on the planet!"
She's thinking, "There's so much to do...book a church, find a pastor, hmmm--what colors do I want? Should we offer one entrée or two? Where do I begin?"
Okay men, here's your chance to show your lady that you will be a true companion and trooper through the thick and thin of your lives together. Planning a wedding is a big deal! The woman you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with has been dreaming about her wedding the majority of the life she's had. There is so much involved in the planning that it is impossible for her to do it alone. She needs help. Oh sure, her mom, sister and best friend will be around, but there are aspects of the planning where she will need your assistance. If it gets to the point where your fiancé is crying because she's overwhelmed with decisions to be made, don't avoid the tears--dry them! Assure her, be there for her. Don't just say I'll help you--make the effort and do something! In fact, don't even let it get to the point of tears, but rather answer her questions, offer to handle certain aspects of the wedding and she will see the man she dreamed to be with! She will see someone who is supportive, strong enough to take initiative when needed, and above all--she will know she's truly loved!
Women--I'm not going to leave you hanging out there thinking only the man can be at fault. I understand that most men leave all that "planning stuff" to the woman because some men, when they want to share in the event, get treated as if they don't know anything and are chased away. She begins to "rule the roost," if you know what I mean. That's sad -- really sad! Yes, the wedding is a focus primarily on the bride, but it's his day too, and he should be involved. If you allow him to be, he will feel respected. He will know he's part of "this team," and that he's truly loved. He will be honored to be at his woman's side!
After the proposal, and the planning begins, sit down together--even with family members if necessary. Decide who is going to pay for what and put together a wedding budget.
Make a list of all the things that need to be taken care of and decide who is going to do what. I meet with several couples and it's so nice to see the gentleman contacting the church, making plans to see the places they want to visit. Assistance with the music, the cake, (which is the best part for you guys, as you sample so many of those tasty treats), as well as Scripture readings to be added to your wedding ceremony, will make your wedding day extra special because of the participation you both did in the planning. Men--learn now that it's the little things that you do that will speak volumes. (and that will be true in all aspects of your married life)
Bottom line: If you can't work together on this event, you probably won't work well together on many others. This day is a big deal, but not near as big as some of life's challenges that could come your way. Learn NOW to work as a team. It will help prepare you for future events!
GO-O-O-O-O TEAM!
