He says, "I don't care what you plan, I'll love it regardless."
She says, "I want your opinion in this planning as well."
He says, "Well, let me know if you need any help."
She says, "I need help."
He's thinking, "Planning a wedding is a girl's thing. I don't know what I'm doing, nor do I care. I just want to get married to the most beautiful lady on the planet!"
She's thinking, "There's so much to do...book a church, find a pastor, hmmm--what colors do I want? Should we offer one entrée or two? Where do I begin?"
Okay men, here's your chance to show your lady that you will be a true companion and trooper through the thick and thin of your lives together. Planning a wedding is a big deal! The woman you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with has been dreaming about her wedding the majority of the life she's had. There is so much involved in the planning that it is impossible for her to do it alone. She needs help. Oh sure, her mom, sister and best friend will be around, but there are aspects of the planning where she will need your assistance. If it gets to the point where your fiancé is crying because she's overwhelmed with decisions to be made, don't avoid the tears--dry them! Assure her, be there for her. Don't just say I'll help you--make the effort and do something! In fact, don't even let it get to the point of tears, but rather answer her questions, offer to handle certain aspects of the wedding and she will see the man she dreamed to be with! She will see someone who is supportive, strong enough to take initiative when needed, and above all--she will know she's truly loved!
Women--I'm not going to leave you hanging out there thinking only the man can be at fault. I understand that most men leave all that "planning stuff" to the woman because some men, when they want to share in the event, get treated as if they don't know anything and are chased away. She begins to "rule the roost," if you know what I mean. That's sad -- really sad! Yes, the wedding is a focus primarily on the bride, but it's his day too, and he should be involved. If you allow him to be, he will feel respected. He will know he's part of "this team," and that he's truly loved. He will be honored to be at his woman's side!
After the proposal, and the planning begins, sit down together--even with family members if necessary. Decide who is going to pay for what and put together a wedding budget.
Make a list of all the things that need to be taken care of and decide who is going to do what. I meet with several couples and it's so nice to see the gentleman contacting the church, making plans to see the places they want to visit. Assistance with the music, the cake, (which is the best part for you guys, as you sample so many of those tasty treats), as well as Scripture readings to be added to your wedding ceremony, will make your wedding day extra special because of the participation you both did in the planning. Men--learn now that it's the little things that you do that will speak volumes. (and that will be true in all aspects of your married life)
Bottom line: If you can't work together on this event, you probably won't work well together on many others. This day is a big deal, but not near as big as some of life's challenges that could come your way. Learn NOW to work as a team. It will help prepare you for future events!
GO-O-O-O-O TEAM!
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Take It With You
The Bride-To-Be had some special dreams in mind for her wedding. She knew the colors she wanted to have, and who would be standing in her bridal party, what her decorations were going to be....planning a wedding was going to be so exciting!
As she started making her dreams become a reality, she found she didn't like what she was finding available. It appeared that other decisions had to be made. The colors of her dresses went from gold to champagne, and the invitations went from thoughts of gold to champange to purple, since purple was an accent color that was going to be in the floral arrangements. While looking over matters in the shops, the colors were becoming confusing because after awhile they all blended together and the different shades just became a blurr. Even her friends that were there to assist couldn't remember. All of a sudden, planning for a wedding wasn't as exciting as she anticipated. A big sigh came from a heart that said, I've just had enough. I don't want to make any more decisions; I just don't care anymore.
This can so easily happen and it can be so frustrating. Allowing yourself to give up so easy early in the planning stages will only carry into everything else. Here are a few ideas to prevent that from happening:
After deciding what the bridal party will be wearing, ask the bridal shop for a swatch of the materials. If your dresses will be hand made, make sure you hang onto a small piece of each color that is a part of the bridal wear. These are your most treasured possessions for the next 6-12 months of your life! Put them in your purse or somewhere you know where these treasures will travel with you wherever you go. Then, when you face those unexpected moments when something catches your eye and you start to ponder if that particular item or idea would fit in your wedding, you will be prepared!
With the swatches of material you will be able to blend ribbons, floral accents, stationery, table cloths, center pieces, etc. all together. There won't be any question about the various hues to choose from. You will always know exactly what you desire, and if you can't find exactly what you want, you will always be able to find something that will blend in to make everything look just as you had dreamed--maybe better!
Another item to carry with you everywhere is a list of what you will need in the days to come. Put these lists in your smart phone. That way you can add what venues you went to, and go back to those you liked best.
One thing to keep in mind is sizes. If you are making your own invitations, etc. be sure to have a list of the size cards, envelopes, etc. that you will need. That way when you go to pick up your paper you will have a good idea of how many can be made from one piece of paper, and from there decide how much of your supplies to purchase. This will save you a lot of time in trips to the craft store!
Make sure that when you are ordering specific items that the store knows exactly what hue you need to get. That was a lesson I learned personally. I grabbed a table cloth that was put together for purchase and told the store I wanted to order more. When the table cloths came in half of them were a different hue. Although I could have intermingled the hues through out the banquet hall, the store was willing to work with me and get the exact match.
I trust these little tid-bits will help you with your wedding plans. The more organized you are before you start your searches, the less hassles there will be, and you will find yourself with a broad smile and cheerful heart all the way to the altar!
Happy Planning!
As she started making her dreams become a reality, she found she didn't like what she was finding available. It appeared that other decisions had to be made. The colors of her dresses went from gold to champagne, and the invitations went from thoughts of gold to champange to purple, since purple was an accent color that was going to be in the floral arrangements. While looking over matters in the shops, the colors were becoming confusing because after awhile they all blended together and the different shades just became a blurr. Even her friends that were there to assist couldn't remember. All of a sudden, planning for a wedding wasn't as exciting as she anticipated. A big sigh came from a heart that said, I've just had enough. I don't want to make any more decisions; I just don't care anymore.
This can so easily happen and it can be so frustrating. Allowing yourself to give up so easy early in the planning stages will only carry into everything else. Here are a few ideas to prevent that from happening:
After deciding what the bridal party will be wearing, ask the bridal shop for a swatch of the materials. If your dresses will be hand made, make sure you hang onto a small piece of each color that is a part of the bridal wear. These are your most treasured possessions for the next 6-12 months of your life! Put them in your purse or somewhere you know where these treasures will travel with you wherever you go. Then, when you face those unexpected moments when something catches your eye and you start to ponder if that particular item or idea would fit in your wedding, you will be prepared!
With the swatches of material you will be able to blend ribbons, floral accents, stationery, table cloths, center pieces, etc. all together. There won't be any question about the various hues to choose from. You will always know exactly what you desire, and if you can't find exactly what you want, you will always be able to find something that will blend in to make everything look just as you had dreamed--maybe better!
Another item to carry with you everywhere is a list of what you will need in the days to come. Put these lists in your smart phone. That way you can add what venues you went to, and go back to those you liked best.
One thing to keep in mind is sizes. If you are making your own invitations, etc. be sure to have a list of the size cards, envelopes, etc. that you will need. That way when you go to pick up your paper you will have a good idea of how many can be made from one piece of paper, and from there decide how much of your supplies to purchase. This will save you a lot of time in trips to the craft store!
Make sure that when you are ordering specific items that the store knows exactly what hue you need to get. That was a lesson I learned personally. I grabbed a table cloth that was put together for purchase and told the store I wanted to order more. When the table cloths came in half of them were a different hue. Although I could have intermingled the hues through out the banquet hall, the store was willing to work with me and get the exact match.
I trust these little tid-bits will help you with your wedding plans. The more organized you are before you start your searches, the less hassles there will be, and you will find yourself with a broad smile and cheerful heart all the way to the altar!
Happy Planning!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
FIND A KEY PERSON
I can hardly believe the wedding season is upon us again. Where did November through January go? I've been busy getting ready for all the weddings coming up this spring, summer and fall. It's going to be a busy time, but a very enjoyable one! I've started putting together a book that shows pictures of pieces of weddings that show different types of decorations, programs, etc. So that the brides that come to our church can get an idea of what to do. I am also very crafty and offer my services to assist with invitations, programs, and table centerpieces. It's a fun time of year for me and something that I totally enjoy doing!
I met with a couple today who will be married in March. I always meet with my couples one month before the wedding. We meet at the church to refresh memories of "what was where" when they first visited. We talk about the details and what is needed for the big day. I love these meetings! It is so fun to see the excitment in the eyes of the bride as she looks at the sanctuary and dreams once again of how it will all look.
I encourage the brides to be sure to have one key person that everyone can go to with questions. That one person should know everything that is going on, whether it be a family member, a friend, or a wedding coordinator, be sure that person is available. That individual should be responsible to handle every question, and if they can't, they are the only person that approaches the bride. Why do I suggest this?
There was a time when I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the bride was bombarded with one question after another as she prepared for her walk down the aisle. Unfortunately there were so many last minute questions and decisions flooding her that she was in tears before she even got to step foot in the sanctuary. It was at that moment that I knew I never wanted that to happen at my wedding; nor do I wish it on any bride! The bride that I spoke with today was so grateful for that suggestion.
Weddings can be stressful emotionally due to nervousness and excitment all bundled up in a time capsule, waiting to explode! Don't allow added stress the day of your wedding. Making sure someone is introduced to everyone the night of the rehearsal will make your wedding day enjoyable, and it should be, it's one of the most momentous days of your life! Take in every moment that you can! If you leave for the evening with a tired face from all your smiling and happy tears, you will know it's been a great day and you have had time to enjoy it!
I met with a couple today who will be married in March. I always meet with my couples one month before the wedding. We meet at the church to refresh memories of "what was where" when they first visited. We talk about the details and what is needed for the big day. I love these meetings! It is so fun to see the excitment in the eyes of the bride as she looks at the sanctuary and dreams once again of how it will all look.
I encourage the brides to be sure to have one key person that everyone can go to with questions. That one person should know everything that is going on, whether it be a family member, a friend, or a wedding coordinator, be sure that person is available. That individual should be responsible to handle every question, and if they can't, they are the only person that approaches the bride. Why do I suggest this?
There was a time when I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the bride was bombarded with one question after another as she prepared for her walk down the aisle. Unfortunately there were so many last minute questions and decisions flooding her that she was in tears before she even got to step foot in the sanctuary. It was at that moment that I knew I never wanted that to happen at my wedding; nor do I wish it on any bride! The bride that I spoke with today was so grateful for that suggestion.
Weddings can be stressful emotionally due to nervousness and excitment all bundled up in a time capsule, waiting to explode! Don't allow added stress the day of your wedding. Making sure someone is introduced to everyone the night of the rehearsal will make your wedding day enjoyable, and it should be, it's one of the most momentous days of your life! Take in every moment that you can! If you leave for the evening with a tired face from all your smiling and happy tears, you will know it's been a great day and you have had time to enjoy it!
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